Thursday, October 26, 2006

News and Notes

This is one of those tongue in cheek days... so much that needs to be done that at times it seems insurmountable. Note I said “seems” insurmountable... it's not really... but if you look at the whole instead of taking one step at a time... yup... insurmountable... ugh... sooooooo lets take one step at a time... and watch how the scenery changes...
step 1... this note... my computer was in the shop all last week... talk about with drawl no computer... ok.... here goes...

Tomorrow is my 15 year wedding anniversary. we've made it 15 years... to me that's an accomplishment.

I have a goal to be met by my 16th anniversary. Get in shape! That's my main goal. Get in shape physically... emotionally... mentally... financially... The past 3 years of illness has wreaked havoc in all 4 areas.

Physically: not being able to work out has turned me into a jabba the hut look-a-like... before the remake. Or rather...I've allowed not being able to work out to turn me into a jabba the hut look-a-like. No excuses... no blaming whomever or whatever... just deal with it and go on from here.'s the committment... I'm going to complete one of the races Welcomes You To The always Held The Sunday Of Memorial Day Weekend. Benefitting the Cheyenne Boys and Girls Club. The Cheyenne Track Club/Road Runners Club of America puts them on... they are as follows:
Vedauwoo 5k Walk/Run
Medicine Bow Half Marathon (13.1 miles)

I don't know which one I'm going to do yet... I'll be walking not running... I have 130 pounds to lose and running would destroy my knees... so it's walking. Here is the Link to the Official Wyoming Marathon Website. If any of you would like to join me on race day... or in training. Training updates will be posted on my Life is a Journey Blog.

Be consistent taking my vitamins and minerals. My body is going to need them to grow strong and lean.

Emotionally: Hmmmm…Make a point of living with an attitude of gratitude. Be thankful for the wonderful life I have the opportunity to live.
The Secret is a good place to nurture this attitude

Mentally: Focus my mind in the direction I choose to go… rather than where I am afraid I’ll end up. Take 20 minutes a day for focus and reading. Mentors on a Mission has some excellent insights along these lines, so does The Secret, and Success University.

Financially: This has several areas … all of which are in the work at home arena. Be consistent working with Robbins Run Ranch Pomeranian Kennels. Photography, grooming, kennel care, construction, website updates, marketing. Working towards establishing the boarding end of the business.

Continue to work from home with
Affiliate Marketing.

Reduce debt load, Financial Freedom Society has some wonderful tools in this area. I should say reduce debt load, live financially free. It doesn’t matter how much money you make if you do not know how to live financially free. If you are spending more than you are taking in… you can be making a million a year and still be debt poor. Learn how to handle your funds.

Ok so… how am I going to meet my goals. By helping other people meet their l goals. Most people who start a home business don’t make it. Most people who start an internet business do not make it.

No I’m not being negative, simply stating a fact. By helping other people meet their goals… I meet my goals. If you are willing to learn, and to work I’m happy to work with you. I will not do it for you; I’m not your Mama nor your Auntie Sue. I am a self employed individual, an affiliate marketer, mentor and trainer. This is what I do. I work with a variety of programs some of which are Predator Marketing System, Veretekk, Financial Freedom Society, New Vision, Healthy Pet Net Life Abundance Dog Food, as well as several others.

Predator Marketing System is my featured business. There is excellent training there and good value for your dollar. I use Veretekk for lead generation and newsletters. There is none better on the web. I know … I’ve done the research. Veretekk is the best out there. I also use traffic exchanges to generate traffic. Traffic Swarm and Instant Buzz are 2 of my favorites.

Check them out… Skype me or give me a call and we’ll see what we can do for you… I don’t bite… well maybe sometimes…lol…

Life is a journey... Enjoy The Trip... Mary E. Robbins & the Hairballs
Mountain Standard Time
skype: robbinsrun

The Business End
a Nifty Linking Tool...
The Predator Marketing System


Click here to get Free Targeted Website Traffic

Quality Products. Healthy Living


What Is The Secret

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Difficult People: 3 Things You Must Know!

"The person who constantly angers you or frustrates you...controls you."

Do you know any difficult people? Have you ever worked or lived with a difficult person?
Are YOU a difficult person?! It's amazing how many participants in my leadership trainings will come up to me at the end of a program on, "Dealing with Difficult People," or "Dealing with Difficult Employees," and confide to me, "Colleen, I think sometimes I'm a difficult person and just realized it today!" Well, we can all be difficult people from time to time. But what do you do with the person who is chronically difficult? A key component to life balance is learning to live and work with difficult people. Because there will always be difficult people. Here are three important points to remember.

1) All behavior has a positive intention - even with difficult people.
2) Low self-esteem is sometimes the culprit.
3) You can't always please everybody.

1) All behavior has a positive intention. Take for example the gossip. When someone comes into your office gossiping about everyone else, who are they trying to make look better? Themselves. That is their positive intention. As a matter of fact, while you are reading this article, what do you think the difficult people/gossips are doing in your office or somewhere else? Gossiping about YOU! I'm just kidding. Sort of.

I don't think gossips realize that when they gossip to you about everyone else, you are probably thinking, "I wonder what they say about ME when I'm not around?" Remember, they have a positive intention. Sick as it may sound, they are trying to make themselves look better.

What about whiners and complainers? If someone comes to you complaining and whining about how much work they have to do, or how overloaded they are, what are they looking for? They're looking for empathy, sympathy. That's their positive intention. Now, we all have times when we're overloaded and feeling overwhelmed. But I'm talking about the real whiners and complainers. Those you might label "emotional vampires" because they just suck the life out of you.

What about snipers? Believe it or not, even they have a positive intention. They are the difficult people who throw little "digs" your way, rattling your cage and ruffling your feathers. What's their positive intention? To make themselves look better. And, they think that by cutting you down, especially in front of others, that they'll look better. For example, in an open work area, a sniper might walk by and within earshot of others say to you, "Well, there goes Shelly, on her 100th personal phone call of the day!" And, you weren't even on a personal phone call! Often, these are the same people who after cutting you down and insulting you, will say to you, "Oh, you just have no sense of humor." They're trying to put it all back on you. Really though it's about them and their own insecurities. Keep that in mind.

2) Low self-esteem. A lot has been written and talked about regarding self-esteem and self-confidence. It almost seems a bit ridiculous quite frankly. For example, every child on a team winning a trophy even though they were on the LOSING team. All in the name of "self-esteem."
And yet, a lot of difficult people do suffer from low self-esteem. Not always, but often. Only one out of every three American adults has high self-esteem, and we're a pretty positive culture. But only one out of three adults really has high self-esteem. Some of you may be thinking, "Well, I know it's definitely not me!" That's okay. It's something you can work on. The point is, that with difficult people it's not necessarily about you. You aren't the problem. It's about THEM. They're the difficult person.

Low self-esteem often has its roots in childhood. For example, a child being teased in school by fellow classmates can result in one having a low opinion of themselves. You all know kids can be cruel. Sometimes it's something a teacher said or that a parent said, or being compared to Super Parent or a superstar sibling. Any number of things can cause low self-esteem. You don't always know what's going on with someone else and why they're acting the way they do.

For example, years ago I taught the Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics program. Presidents of companies, executive V.P.'s and salespeople, many of whom were seemingly confident, would quietly confide in me before class that they were nervous about taking the course. Why? Well, the more I talked with them, the more I'd find out how many of them were dyslexic way before we knew what dyslexia was. Talk about something that could wreak havoc on your self-esteem! Nowadays, we know that people with dyslexia are often VERY bright and usually have above average intelligence! Back then, however, these things were not known. So, you never know what's going on with someone else and why they're being difficult.

Sometimes you can do all the right things and nothing works because they're a difficult person who doesn't want to change. Or, they haven't been held accountable for needing to change. So remember, focus on the part you can control - you. And keep in mind these three things: 1) All behavior has a positive intention. 2) Low self-esteem may be the reason they're difficult people. 3) You're not always going to please everybody.

3) No, you're not always going to please everyone. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you may not like somebody, or they're not going to like you. You won't always please everybody so get rid of the notion that you will. People pleasers you know who you are! We can't always worry about what everyone else thinks of us. I think we realize that more and more the older we get.

As a matter of fact, Dr. Daniel Amen has what he calls the 18-40-60 rule. The 18-40-60 rule is:
When you're 18 years old, you worry about what everyone is thinking of you. When you're 40, you don't care anymore what everyone thinks of you. And when you're 60, you realize nobody's been thinking about you at all! How true is that?! The older we get we realize "everybody" isn't thinking about us. They're caught up in their own stuff.

Don't be one of those people who tends to dwell. For example, have you ever been in a situation where a week after your encounter with the difficult person you're still stewing about them? And thinking about them? Thinking about what you "should have said?" You know what? The person who constantly angers you and frustrates you...controls you.

What I recommend you do, especially if you work with a difficult person, is keep a pad of paper along with a pen in your car. Anytime you're afraid you're going to say something you'd regret, especially if you're a manager or supervisor, go out to your car during a break. I realize many of you are so busy you don't even know what a break is anymore! Seriously, though, write down everything you'd like to say, that you never could say. When you arrive home, tear up what you wrote or burn it. Throw it away. It's a cathartic way of getting rid of some of those emotions.

Be careful, too, of the words you use. Avoid absolutes with the people you live and work around. For example, don't say, "You always" and "You never." I guarantee it will only put that person further on the defensive. I once role played with a gentleman in one of my leadership trainings, and I said "John, you are always late. You never do the work around here." He looked at me, pointed and said, "You sound like my wife!" Everyone roared with laughter. I think he was joking, but you get the point.

Even big name advertisers have to be careful that their words and slogans get translated properly into other countries and languages. For example, it's been said that Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi generation," translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave" in Chinese. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken," was translated into Spanish as, "It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate!"

In conducting leadership training around the world, especially when discussing dealing with difficult people or difficult employees, I sometimes have my participants take the following pledge. It's one that adds humor but gets the message across:

"On my honor, I promise, when dealing with a difficult person, that I will bite my tongue and count to 10. Because if I don't, I may say something that I will LIVE to regret!"

Colleen Kettenhofen is a speaker, workplace expert, and co-author of The Masters of Success, as featured on the Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield. To order the book, or for more free articles and e-newsletter, visit Popular topics: leadership, management skills, dealing with difficult people, public speaking. Colleen is available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars by calling 971-212-2412, email

You are free to reprint or repost this article provided Colleen's name, website and email are provided at the end of the article.


Entreprenuer en.tre.pre.neur

A person who organizes, operates, and assumes the risk for a business venture

One who is willing to live like noone else so that they can LIVE like noone else!